I wasn’t going to write tonight. I was going to get all my work done with no distractions. I have deadlines, lots to do. Well, here I am. Writing! I have something on my mind and need someone else’s opinion.
My daughter just started a new preschool this week. It’s a lovely school, where she is surrounded by friends and my friend’s children. I thought it would be nice to be closer to home. The last school was a long drive to another suburb. It was such a nice and well run school, so it was a hard decision to leave. Now I’m not so sure I made the right choice.
I don’t know if I’m being over sensitive about some of the comments her teacher made to me today. I know being with 8-10 two year olds for half a day could make anyone bonkers. So I’m trying to look at it from her perspective also. She is young and shy. So maybe she is just inexperienced in dealing with parents. What did she say? Well, this is where I need your opinion… am I being too sensitive? (If you know me personally… NOBODY has ever called me sensitive, especially me!!!) So this is why I’m so perplexed! ha.
*******
I walk to the door to get my child: (this is only the second day she has been to school)
Teacher: “Well, today was a MUCH better day with her.”
Me: What do you mean better? Did you have a hard time with her on Tuesday?
Well, you’re going to have to work with her on napping.
I told you she doesn’t sleep anywhere but her bed. Not even in the car. Ever. Ugh. Did she not even sit on her nap mat?
You’re just going to have to work with her and teach her to be quiet while the other children are napping. We do have children who nap in this class and it needs to be quiet.
Oh, was she talking the entire time? She does like to talk! (I’m being cheerful here folks… hoping to lighten her up from the hard day with preschoolers.)
Yes. And that’s a good thing, but not during quiet time. (this was said in a sweet sounding voice, not in anyway mean…. just stating the fact.)
Well, Is there something you can do, like read to her? Last year, her teachers would take her for a stroller ride or to another class to help pick up toys.
We really need her to be quiet and rest. Maybe when you get home, you could just work with her. Oh, and also… (then she went through school procedures that we need to follow)
*******
Any who, that was the extend of our conversation.
How do you teach a 2 year old who loves to talk and not sleep anywhere but her bed… to be quiet and nap in a tiny room with 9 other kids and all kinds of neat toys within reach? mmmmm… that’s a hard one. For one, it probably ain’t going to happen. Especially the first week of school. She might eventually learn to lay quietly after a week or so of watching the other children.
I thought it was a strange remark. I guess I thought the teacher was supposed to work with the children and get them used to the schedule… not the other way around?
My daughter was in a gymnastic camp this summer. Every time I picked her up, several kids were still napping and mine was bee bopping around, helping the teacher. That teacher said she was the sweetest thing ever. Maybe she was just much more experienced and knew how to make a parent feel good about leaving their child in her care. Maybe the new school is just hectic now because it’s the first week? Maybe once the teacher gets a hang of things, they will all get on schedule and learn the daily routine?
What do you think about this? For some reason it rubbed me the wrong way… am I over reacting?
***UPDATE***
I ended up switching schools back to the one my children have attended for the last five years. I think it’s the right choice for my girl. And guess what? On her first day of school, she napped!! I was shocked. It was because they have a separate room for napping and it was dark. I think she just needs to be away from toys and for it to be dark. Yeah!!
***For those of you who have children at the previous school, I don’t want to scare you away by any means. Most moms I know, seem very happy with their children being there and that is wonderful. Our teacher was very sweet, but I suppose I was spoiled by our previous school and didn’t realize how much I missed it.
•
Living Locurto …. the ramblings of a creative mom.
Want a peek into my world? Read this.
•
Amy, I certainly know how you feel. With 4 kids (1 out!!), 1 in high school, and 2 left in middle school, I’ve had my share of teacher talks. Not to be the lone voice of dissent, but I look at it a bit differently. I consider it a blessing when a teacher knows my child well enough to recognize and comment on their behavior. I don’t always agree with it, but I do always appreciate it when a teacher has an interest in my child. At this point in my parenting, I’m thankful for anyone who will speak into my child’s life and give me a different perspective. I expect by the end of the year your child won’t want to leave that class! As for me, a nap sounds pretty good!
I’m so glad you were able to make a decision that you are comfortable with. I agree with what most everyone else said…maybe the teacher is young and inexperienced. Maybe she’s overwhelmed. Maybe she doesn’t really understand what children can do at different developmental milestones. You’ll feel so much better having her somewhere that you are happy with!
I think you have made the right decision. You could have been describing me (20+ years ago) when I was a daycare employee! Despite having a degree in Early Childhood and umpteen million babysitting hours under my belt, I struggled with a child that didn’t nap. That was MY time to plan. (yes, a very selfish attitude) Now that I’ve had my own children I have a much better understanding of the idiosynchrasies that make up the human population; some kids just don’t nap! As I’ve matured, I’ve also developed more tolerance and compassion for the wonderful difference in the children God blesses us with – our own and those in our community. I now treasure the special moments that a “non-napper” provides. This is not to say that this teacher is not a good one. She is probably trying to the very best job she can and is frustrated when things aren’t going as she expected.
As for your question about “working on napping” with a two year old who doesn’t sleep anywhere other than her bed….. Umm…. you don’t. You can’t force a child to sleep (been there, tried that with my first born – doesn’t work). Your daughter is also too young to understand why she has to sit on a mat without talking for an hour (or even 30 minutes). Going to another class or participating in some quiet activities on the other side of the room are exactly what I’d recommend in the situation. It sounds like the first preschool has a better sense of working with the individual rather than expecting conformity to the commonality of the masses.
Your daughter can still develop the relationships with the kids at church on Sundays, during some playdates and at school when she starts Kindergarten. Keep praying for those opportunities, and they will come. :0)
Amy, I love that your mom came by to help you out!
Sounds like you went with your gut.
Hey Mom,
Glad you finally made a comment! And you used a movie saying… very hip of you. ha!
If the Teacher made you feel this way just imagine how she makes your child feel. Ask Baby Sister some questions about the Teacher and what happens at school especially at NAP time. Grandma says take her out of there because “NO BODY PUTS BABY IN THE CORNER !!!”
Sorry, My first comment I’ll try not to be so “MOM” if I make another.
PS: The Red Boots look so cute and with that dress too!
I would have felt the same way you did, but as other commenters have said, it’s probably inexperience. If you have grace for her, it will show your Christ-like love. And you can pray that the situation will turn out for good!
{{{{{Amy}}}}}
It could just be a young teacher who is inexperienced. Does she have any children of her own?
And it may just be an adjustment thing, too, as she did better the second day.
Does your daughter typically take naps at home? Does she have favorite things she likes to sleep with that could be brought along with her?
I’m assuming the teacher isn’t alone in the class and has helpers. Could your little one maybe go to another room with a helper to have a “quiet time” instead? Maybe quietly look at books or play with a doll or something?
And has your daughter said anything to you about the preschool? Does she seem to like her teacher? The kids? The activities?
She is only two years old, so I think there’s grace covering all the little ones in that class as they learn the new preschool routine.
I know, I know, I ask more questions than give answers!
Above all, PRAY 🙂
Blessings,
Tammy ~@~
It does sound like this young teacher is just overwhelmed with the first week and is inexperienced. During my rock band years, my day “gig” was teaching at a day care. I was young and had no children of my own, but I’m sure I probably said things occasionally that might have been similar to what you experienced. That said, and now being older and with my own children, I would feel the same way you are now. It’s not just you. Me, I would just mention my concern to my friends in charge and get their opinion, too.
See how it goes next week. It may have just been the first week newness of everything. If it persists, see if you can talk to the teacher when the kids aren’t around. If she balks at that, don’t hesitate to talk to the preschool director. You can try talking to your daughter, but like you said, she’s 2 and won’t understand a whole lot. But maybe will learn from the example of the other kids. And most of all, don’t feel guilty about sending her for 2 half days. I did the same thing when my daughter was 18 months and continued until she started at all day kindergarten. (She’s now in the third grade) It was good for her, the socializing with other kids, and it was good for me – a sanity break and a chance to get things done by myself. We all need that sometimes.